Dear Elijah,

Due to Australia Post being a bucket of piss, your Secret Santa present (which was ordered over 2 weeks ago) has not arrived.

Way to ruin Matesmas, I know!

You have two options now…

1. Click here to find out what you’re going to get;

2. Wait until it arrives so it is a surprise when you unwrap it.

On behalf of Australia Post, I am sincerely sorry that you have found yourself in this position and are the unlucky recipient of a Secret Santa that isn’t a present but is instead a QR code and ramblings on a website.

Merry Matesmas though mate!